Have you ever used the word Always or Never in a heated discussion? Have you ever has these words used towards you? How did it make you feel?
Speaking in absolutes is something that you should avoid and think twice about before using. I have made this a rule in my life and today while at a #sheinnovates festival I was reminded of this.
Does your partner really never change the toilet roll. Does your employee really always come late to meetings? The answer to these questions is most likely NO! By you stating that they always or never do something you immediate create a defense response from them and it does not create an environment that is conducive to rational discussion and debate.
This is a short piece of advice that you most likely know deep down inside. To avoid falling into the trap make a rule that absolutes are not allowed this standing rule will then allow the person to whom the absolute is expressed to say, “hey we don’t talk in absolutes”, reminding you of your rule and the diffusing the situation rather than causing a backlash. It sounds to simple but it really does work.
Create this rule today and improve your conflict management significantly! Or don’t that is also okay 😄